Crack Santa!
Today's been full of firsts.
Now I'm sure by now everyone knows how much I am coming to cheerfully and downright despise Christmas music, after having to suffer a constant chanting of it over the mall PA system for the last month and a half at 8-hour intervals a day.
Well, fate has never been one to lack a sense of humour, or be ever so helpful in rubbing a little salt into one's wound/evolving psychosis. this morning there was the radio on the car ride to work, where the D.J. happily told me that since they were going to be gone after Christmas, I should be requesting and enjoying as many Christmas classic songs as possible. I promptly flipped the radio (and the D.J. on the other side of it) the bird. This is the first time I have ever given the one-finger salute to a voice that doesn't even know me.
And then there was the visit after work to the grocery store to stock up on food. As we passed down the cereal aisle, I spotted a festive cover on a box of Cornflakes. It featured this Norman Rockwellian Santa Clause face wearing a happy Ho-Ho-Ho smile. However, the expression coupled with his open mouth made it appear as if Santa had taken a little too much crack, and was laughing maniacally at me through the box. (Probably because he was delighting in thinking I'd never find the free toy inside, because there was no free toy inside that particular box)
That, or else it was a blow-up Santa doll leering at me. I swear, his mouth had that disturbingly "round" quality about it. I was certainly unnerved by it. That sort of face seems better suited for a box of
Porn-Oh's! rather than Cornflakes. (In a similar vein, please don't think about the type of "milk" you'd find with a bowl of that...)
I advise anyone out there to check it out and determine for themselves whether or not this festive Cornflakes box cover is of Crack Santa or Blow-Up Santa. In the meantime, I'm sticking with the much safer and blase Special K boxes. And I'm also waiting to see if someone else thinks that it's a Blow-Up Santa on the box, and protests or sues the Kelloggs Corporation.
Quote of the Day: "You're a sexual pervert, you'll never get reincarnated!" (from a badly-dubbed Hong Kong ganster movie)
posted by Phillip at 6:45 PM
